“Ra Ma Da Sa, Sa Say So Hung…”
It can happen all of a sudden without warning, a devastating diagnosis, a loved one passing on, or a critical life altering change forced upon you, all leaving you in catastrophic shock as you do your best to maintain control and try to move forward without fear.
This time 13 years ago, I lost the man I loved. For years, I’d lived in denials, denying the fact I became a widow, and a single mother. I hit a long rough patch in my own life. I denied my destiny.
With all of traumas happening around me, I felt helpless and was humbly reminded that we are not in control.
When loss, sickness or death occur we have two choices, we can lash out and become bitter at the world, or we can turn inward and hold love. Choosing love doesn’t prevent us from feeling the loss, but it can help us feel more purpose in the pain.
It is hard to heal and move on after a death, breakup or divorce from a loved on. At times, you feel guilty for not letting go, as if there is some predetermined expiration date for grief.
We’ve all felt it. That searing feeling in your chest when your heart breaks. The air rushes out of you. Your stomach tightens. Your mind and heart stop for a moment, suspended, until at last they start again, but now with a heaviness and pain.
We can’t avoid heartbreak in this life. Many masters suggest we shouldn’t try to avoid it, but instead should sit with the pain within us and truly feel it. Then from that place of honoring the now, we should begin to usher in a sense of peace and well-being as we consciously connect with our timeless Divine Truth. But sometimes we aren’t masters. Sometimes it’s all we can do to just get out of bed, and when that’s too much, opening our eyes can sometimes be a victory
And the truth is, there is no right nor wrong. There is no deadline or timeframe for grieving. Part of our heart is forever with the person we have lost. It is a broken self that must now move forward. Give yourself time to heal and know that real love is always with you.
I tried. I failed. I made mistakes. I created affirmations to help get through the uncertain times. I chanted the “Om” with the broken heavy heart.
But there is a beauty in heartbreak. For one thing, it proves your heart still feels, still moves and lives and has its being. It proves that you are searching for more and that your heart hasn’t crusted over beyond repair.
But we cannot let scar tissue develop during times of heartbreak by closing ourselves off to the pain. That is where real danger lies. We must feel our heartbreak, leaving our heart wide open, sometimes drowning with hurt, and offer our wounds to the Divine and ask for healing.
Your heart will break from time to time and hurt will creep inside, but a heart that breaks is open wide.
May your broken heart be filled with healing. May you resist the urge to close yourself off forever by using asana like Camel Pose to keep your heart open. May you use the mantra calling upon the divine energy of Guru Ram Das, Lord of Miracles and healer of hearts, to lift you up in your times of trouble.
Try the mantra: “Guru Guru Waheguru Guru Ram Das Guru.” Cry your heart out while you are singing if you need to, start in a little whisper if you cannot even speak, but eventually sing your heart out. Let the bold and bright sound of your voice be the funnel that removes the hurt from inside you. Hear a strength in your voice even if you don’t feel it in your heart. Sing whenever you can, while you shower, while you cook, while you drive, while you lay in bed hiding under the covers. Sing. Bring the healing presence of Guru Ram Das to you, like an angel of light.
For the truth is the soul knows the best way for you to heal. Part of removing the pain is to allow yourself to listen to the grief and move through it with attention.
There will be a day when the pain lessens and your heart begins to heal. And then one day, out on horizon, you will see the rising sun again and feel it rise in your heart, too. This too shall pass.
Guru Guru Waheguru Guru Ram Das Guru.
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